sarahviehmann:

kaerya:

claryfairhild:

i’m so done with the way girls in twenties are treated. i’m so done with people who literally create timetable for us. 20- 24  find a guy, 24-26 make him propose to you, 27-29 get married. i’m so done. i’m do not want to get 2 a.m texts from my best friend who is freaking out that she is gonna die alone. i do not want see my 20 years old friend wasting her time on some guys who are not even interested in her. i do not want see us falling for every nice guy who does not look creepy. i do not want to see girls get sad or paranoid just bcos they do not fill in the schedule. you are ok. you should enjoy your life at its fullest and one day you will find 10/10 so do not pursue 6 just because you do not want to be single. it is ok and one day you will find someone. do not split your love with people who does not deserve it. keep it for yourself and when time will come you will know. i know it hurts. i know you wish u could just open part of yourself and release the buzzing love. but not every kind of love is romantic. show it to your family, friends, plants, yourself.

Not a real criticism, just an expansion really, but …  it’s not just the timetables we need to get away from, but the goal itself, I think.  “One day you will find someone,” sounds comforting, but the reason it doesn’t lay fears to rest is because we are all smart enough to know it’s not necessarily true.

My aunt is over sixty, never married, and never, so far as I am aware, ever even had a great romance.  She dated a lot, but never clicked and now seems to have given up.  My mentor is over seventy, divorced her asshole husband more than half her life ago and has never found anyone since.

We all know women (and men) like these.  And because we know them, we know that “one day you will find someone,” is just … hogwash.  Because sometimes you just … don’t.  Or sometimes you do, but he turns out to be a cad.  Or you do and the universe rips you apart in the most unfair way possible.  And because society has us so fixated on finding “our other half” or whatever, we view these women as cautionary tales.

But … 

My aunt trains dogs.  Her schipperke is the national champion for his breed.  She spent so much of her life as a librarian, nurturing the love of books in kids, myself among them.  I ride horses because of her, and it’s one of the very few things I do that makes my soul feel at peace.

My mentor is one of the best criminal defense attorneys in her state.  She has devoted her life to fighting to ensure that everyone gets a vigorous defense.  Because of her countless people have had the opportunity to turn their lives around.  Because of her, they’ve had a life to turn around.  Because of her, the prosecution and the police in her jurisdiction are forced to behave ethically and adhere to the rule of law.  She’s still, even now fighting to abolish the death penalty.  It’s because of her that I am pursuing the life I am.

These women’s lives are not nothing.  In fact they are a whole lot of something, and it makes my heart hurt that I ever, in my dark 3 am’s, thought of their lives as something to be avoided at all costs.

So love your family, your friends, your pets, your gardens.  Love your job or your hobby or your raison d’ etre, whatever it is.  Love sunsets and the smell of rain and yourself, and don’t love these as something to do as a placeholder until the buzzing, romantic love comes, but love these as things worth loving all in themselves.

It’s fucking hard some days.  The dark 3 am’s still come sometimes.  But most days, I am so much more at peace knowing that I am not incomplete or waiting, but that my life, if it ended today, is worth it because of the platonic, familial, friendship love I have shared.  And if the other kind does come someday, that’ll be nice, but it won’t make any of the others less.  It’ll just be caramel sauce on a sundae–tasty and wonderful, but the sundae was perfect without it too.

I needed this today.

thosewhitejeans:

That time Miles Kane was an absolute angel at his concert

I think I didn’t share this story at the time because I wasn’t on tumblr then. I saw Miles back in July in a tiny, very very sweaty venue and had an amazing time, here’s what Miles did that cemented for me the fact that I love him for every good reason.

So he was playing too little too late and it’s really upbeat of course. At this point it was a very new song and he was clearly very excited and everyone was feeling it and jumping and stuff. Some way through he started staring into the crowd behind us with this look of like vague concern, like this 😬😧 and then things got super rowdy…. so he STOPPED the song and was like “HEY, hey, hey, HEY!! NO, stop! HEY, stop it!! No, we’re not having that!” I mean, he completely stopped playing in the middle of the song, even though it was a new one and everyone was “having it! X” just because there was this fight.

So yeh, he gave this warning like “I don’t wanna make people leave, cmon now” and told the security folks not to kick people out as long as they don’t keep fighting.

But then just after he said that there was this girl behind us looking particularly distraught and annoyed and she was teying to explain to the security guard about how this guy had been groping her, and I think the guy she was with started that fight…. but anyways Miles leaned over into the crowd and grabbed her hand to pull her closer to the barrier so he could speak with her and he was like “what’s going on? Are you okay?” And when she told him he was like “nah that’s not okay, nope, chuck him OUT!” And told the security to get him out.

And then he turned back to the girl and kept double checking if she was okay and then turned to us because we were just next to here and he was was like “you lot keep each other safe Yeh? Nice one, don’t worry tho we’ll chuck him out okay?”

So yeh, that’s the story of how Miles is a darling man with his heart in exactly the right place, thanks for reading!